I can’t believe that my daughter has been at primary school for almost 8 months! How on Earth has that happened? It seems like just a blink ago we were first experiencing the joy that is the school run. We’ve thankfully moved on from the hellish autumn months of having to forcibly drag her into the class room and she now does actually seem to love it.
So, seeing as I’m now so experienced at getting out of the front door every morning and safely getting my child to school (aherm), I thought I’d share with you 9 types of mum that I’ve noticed on the school run:
- Gym Mum
Dressed in the tightest lycra outfits, mostly in flamboyant prints and colours with fluorescent trainers, these mums are always in a hurry to drop off their kids and get on with their run / aerobic session / weight lifting session. I’m never sure whether to feel in awe of these athletic creatures or intimidated by them.
2. Mystery Mum
High powered business woman who has only been spotted once at the school assembly. Never seen at the school drop off or pick up because she’s busy running a company.
3. Organised Mum
This one is super organised. She is always the first one outside the door waiting for it to open. She’s remembered all the homework, PE bag, lunch box, book bag and lunch slip AND she’s had time to do something fancy with her daughter’s hair in the morning. Not only that but she’s organising nights out and play dates with everyone left, right and centre. Hhhmm. Again, not sure whether to feel in awe or slightly irritated in comparison.
4. Forgetful Mum
Can often be heard saying “Oh is it Welly Wednesday today?” (Err… The clue is in the name?) Or “I’ve forgotten his book bag again.” Unlike Organised Mummy, this one forgets everything including lunch box, homework and drink bottle. Could be a disorganised dreamer or could just be living the life of most parents on the school run.
5. Scary Mum
You can hear this one bellowing to her child before you’ve even entered the playground. If she’s not screeching, she’s telling everyone about how drunk she was the other night and the fights she got into. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of her. (Or her kid).
6. Tiger Mum
Identified by the constant updates on little Johnny’s progress at school in reading, writing and maths as well as all the extra curricular activities including football, gymnastics, swimming, music, etc. etc. Will not listen to what you have to say, but insists on turning the conversation back to her and little Johnny.
7. Late Mum
Barely get to see this mum let alone have a conversation with her because she’s always running late. She’s late in the morning drop off practically dragging her children in through the gates as most other mums have already left, and she’s always the last one to pick up. Can’t work out whether she’s genuinely disorganised or trying to avoid seeing the other parents.
8. Stalker Mum
Your new best friend who will hunt you down on the way into the playground and proceed to share her whole life history with you (and expect you to do the same in return). Woe betide you if you dare turn up slightly earlier or later than usual or if you park your car in a different spot.
9. Harassed Mum
Normally turns up with one or multiple kids crying, kicking or screaming. Tries drastically to get kids into the classroom with least possible fuss and meltdown before turning to make a quick exit and avoid pitiful looks by just about everyone.
In case you’re wondering, over the past 8 months I seem to be a cross between Forgetful and Late Mum with a lot of Harassed Mum thrown in to the mix too. If I haven’t had to contend with carrying my eldest over the threshold of the classroom, I have been dealing with meltdown and tantrums from the toddler of epic proportions. I hate to think what the other mums are saying about me!
Which mum are you? Any others types of mum on the school run that I’ve missed? Let me know!