Dealing with My Lack of Patience

Let me start by saying that generally I am impatient about most things. Impatient to get the kids out to school, impatient to hear back from a client about work, impatient to get the kids to bed, impatient to get the sodding decorating finished!

I may or may not have inherited this particular trait from my dad who is  not the most patient person I know either. But this week has seen my levels of impatience reach a new high (or should that be low?!).

Refusing to Get Dressed

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For some reason the youngest, who has always been chatty, over confident and loves pre-school, has now decided that she doesn’t want to go. Her avoidance tactics this week has ranged from refusing to get dressed, to hiding around the house when it’s time to leave the house. I’ve tried to deal with this calmly. I wish I was one of those jolly mums who laughs at such behaviour and joins in the game of hide and seek, but I inevitably end up losing my temper and insist on her getting dressed and going to pre-school because “I’ve got shed loads to do today!”

Sibling Fisti-Cuffs

sibling-rivalry-and-impatience

They’ve always had arguments or bickering, but this past week or so has seen the arguments ramped up to such an extent that the girls end up in physical fights with at least one of them getting hurt.  I have been dealing with this in the following way:

  1. Listen, but don’t get involved as I want them to sort it out
  2. Realise that one is being smothered or struggling to breathe
  3. Step in and break up the wrestle
  4. Ignore wailings of “She started it” or “Alice hit my nose.”
  5. Lose my sh!t and shout my head off possibly followed by sending them to different rooms
  6. Feel extreme guilt that I’ve once again lost my temper, handled it badly and that I’m a terrible mum

Yesterday – An Impatient Day

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Yesterday was a busy day. I had to do the school and pre-school run and then negotiate public transport into London to meet with a prospective new client. Why is it that the days you need to go smoothly always work out the worst? (At this point I salute all full-time working parents who have to deal with this kind of stuff every single day. – How do you do it?).

After I’d had various “discussions” with the three year old about how she WAS going to get dressed and go to pre-school, I then had to deal with squabbling about which car seat they were going to sit in. Both then decided that on this particular day they didn’t want to go to school and made a huge scene about going in. I gritted my teeth and coped fairly well, all the time thinking impatiently about what time the bus was leaving for the station.

The train was delayed and the client was late for the meeting – cue more impatience (but actually an enjoyable kind of impatience as I had a cup of tea, a newspaper, a croissant and no children to ask me “Is he here yet?”).

Later, I picked the kids up and was hoping to spend some time before dinner playing board games, but this lasted five minutes as they were too busy fighting each other which led to more inevitable shouting from everyone. We calmed it down with a book, but when the youngest started throwing her food around the kitchen and declaring that “it was my fault for making a horrible dinner.” I lost it again and sent her upstairs.

At this point it was 5.30pm and I was wondering if I could put them to bed. Time for a gin and tonic I thought. Got the ice into the glass before realising that not one but TWO bottles of gin had been put back into the cupboard empty! Proceeded to phone the husband and give him what for. Sensing my rage and general demeanour he promised to bring back wine.

Red Wine

When he finally arrived and I had a large glass of red in hand, I poured out my worries to him about how I was losing my mind because of losing my patience. I seem to be stuck in a cycle where I’m shouting at the kids and then feeling guilty about it. Then the kids act up and it starts all over again. I worry that I’m responsible for sucking all the joy out of this family with my complete lack of patience.

We realised that the endless decorating and having the house turned upside down these past few weeks has made us all grouchy. Plus the kids are missing out on time with Dad because he’s been busy with DIY. So this weekend he has promised to spend some more time with them both.

I’m not sure if this will help, but hopefully with more adult support, I might find I regain some more of my composure and have a bit more patience with the kids. A bit.

Failing that, the gin needs to be re-stocked pronto.

Are you a patient person or do you regularly lose it like me? If you’ve got any tips, please do let me know!

 

 

Pink Pear Bear
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Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

29 thoughts on “Dealing with My Lack of Patience

  1. Impatient!!? Moi???? Having grown up with three sisters, fathering three daughters and being married to the same woman for over 46 years, I think I have the patience of a saint!
    ‘You’ve got to learn to laugh at life’, as your late grandmother used to say. Now SHE did try your patience
    Dad

  2. I’ve added patience to my words of the year after realising I need it sometimes. It’s not you! I think we try and cram so much into 5 minutes all the time that we get frustrated because we don’t manage it. Good luck #KCACOLS

  3. Firstly, empty gin bottles?! Catastrophe! Ah I used to be less patient but my husband is so clam all the time that he’s been fantastic for me seeing things in a totally different way – I hate to admit he’s right but he is – but then he does keep the wine stocked so that helps! Hope things calm a little this week – sibling bickering is the pants for sure #BigPinkLink

  4. I am SO impatient!! I used to think I was patient, before I had kids, and then I realised that my patience levels are zero. Especially in the morning when the kids insist on dressing themselves and I’m about to bow a fuse!! It’s something I need to work on more, but it’s just so hard! #KCACOLS

    1. Exactly the same! I read about these mums who say their patience has improved since having kids and I just wonder HOW??! And what am I doing wrong?! I’m trying to kerb it with some Mindfulness but so far not much has changed!! X

  5. I seem to spend alot of time snarling, “Could we just get on …” because it gets frustrating. Dunno how to fix it, but I’m happy to see it’s not just me!

  6. Putting empty Gin bottles back in the cupboard is beyond cruel. I would cry. And be angry 😉
    I think we all suffer from impatience a bit, I think it’s because we are always in a rush these days. I think if life wasn’t so busy, I would be more patient.
    Lovely post honey, and I can completely relate.
    Thanks for joining #BigPinkLink
    Gem
    x

  7. Well that wine was certainly well deserved! Your definitely not a bad mum though! Everyone loses their temper from time to time and any mum who tells you they don’t is lying. I too have inherited a lack of patience but for me it come from my mum. When I feel my patience wearing thin I try to remember back to been a child and what it was like to be on the receiving end. It usually helps unless it’s been a particularly difficult day and in that cases I just bring bed time forward half an hour and treat myself to an extra glass of wine (even if it is only Tuesday) #KCACOLS

  8. I am majorly impatient too! Sometimes I get so angry and frustrated over the stupidest things, even if my partner isn’t getting hanged as fast as I want him too, and I’m not even almost ready myself! Makes no sense I know haha #KCACOLS

  9. aw love, you are not alone and your not a terrible mum. im not a patient person at all. some mornings fine, I can have a laugh with the boy but after five minutes of peeing about, I want him to get dressed, eat breaky and get out the door! he is also 3 and I;ve found this the hardest age so far. we don’t have a second and this is kinda one reason why im not so sure I could. I just don’t think I could hack it !
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday!

    1. 3 is hard! They’re on the brink of going off to school and growing up properly but still pushing the boundaries. I keep having to tell myself this age / stage won’t last forever. But can be very hard when this stage is going on for a while!! X

  10. Nodding all through this, I definitely have days where I’m more impatient than others, I honestly think its very normal- especially when you have littles. Pre-schoolers and mornings are no fun, its by far the part of the day where my patience is tested most! Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

  11. I try to be all zen and patient, but it doesn’t always go well! I think that it’s part and parcel of being a mum to little ones!
    #KCACOLS

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