Guilt and our Demanding Lives

 

Feeling Guilty
Feeling Guilty? You’re Not Alone

I’ve spoken to lots of friends recently who are all suffering with the same type of disease: guilt. It seems that the everyday demands seems to be a constant worry and source of guilt for many women in today’s world.

What are we Feeling Guilty About?

Everything and anything judging by the conversations I’ve been having. From not spending enough time with the extended family to not eating healthily or doing enough exercise. Becoming a parent makes the guilt sky-rocket. I quite often feel guilty about the effects of what I’m doing is having on my kids. Am I being too strict? Not strict enough? Not giving them enough attention? I’ve spoken to working mums who are feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their children and full-time mums that are worrying about not giving their children enough stimulation. I’ve even had conversations with some women who are feeling guilty about not spending enough time on the chores or work around the house.

My Personal Guilt List

At the moment my guilty worry list consists of the following:

  • Losing my patience with my eldest daughter on a daily basis in the battle to get her to go to school.
  • Juggling working from home with every spare scrap of time that I have, and worrying about the impact on my children.
  • Not seeing enough of all my friends.
  • Not visiting my nan enough.

Why?

So why are so many of us feeling guilty for so much of the time? I’m no expert but I think a lot of the problem is down to how busy we all are and how demanding our lives have become. It seems that everything is competing for our time and attention and we are being pulled apart by the strains. We are constantly trying to juggle work, children, relationships as well as the mundane chores and feel a huge sense of guilt if we can’t meet all of these things or give them all the dedicated time they deserve. Technology may well help ease some of the problems in our lives, but can ironically add to the guilt too. I often find that a “quick” check of my email on my phone whilst spending time with the kids sucks me into a whole host of nonsense on Facebook and it can be some time before I’m snapped back into reality and then immediately feel guilty about it.

How to Lose The Guilt

I read an article the other day that said we all need to treat ourselves more kindly and stop being so hard on ourselves; we are all doing the best that we can to get by. If we could only talk to ourselves like we would a friend who was asking for help we would be better off.  We need to acknowledge that we are not perfect and we can’t always give our all to everyone all of the time. We need to give ourselves a break, it’s a tough enough trying to get on in this world without dragging ourselves down!

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you think about guilt.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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0 thoughts on “Guilt and our Demanding Lives

  1. Guilt does seem to be a common Mum problem! I find that talking back to it can help and asking myself where’s the evidence that I should truly feel guilty about that thing. And if there is evidence (i.e the prioritising social media over family time example!) I try and change my behaviour….. #TheList

  2. Ugh I hate guilt and I never really had it until I was a mum, well not like this anyway. I wonder if mummy guilt gets less as your children grow up? I hope so! Love the last paragraph of this post, some great advice there.xx #TheList

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