Personality or Position?

It occurred to me the other day just how very different my two girls are. As you can see, they’re physically different with the eldest having thick blonde hair and blue eyes and the youngest inheriting my fine brown hair and dark eyes. But more than that, it’s interesting to see how different their personalities and their behaviour can be too.

Position or Personality


Alice, my eldest, lacks confidence. She is cautious, especially in new situations and will only really come out of her shell when she starts to feel comfortable in her surroundings. She used to cry when I dropped her off at pre-school and would cling to my leg. She had a terrible time settling into school last year. She’s tactile, emotional and likes lots of cuddles.

In contrast, Eva is extremely confident, talking happily non-stop to people she’s only just met and has no problem going into pre-school. She is completely fearless, throwing herself into the swimming pool and always climbing far higher than I’d like. She is constantly on the go not stopping from the moment she wakes (between 5.30 – 6am) to 7pm when I have to (usually by force) make her get into her bed.

Personality or Position?

I’m not comparing my kids, just noticing their differences. It has made me wonder whether they have inherently different personalities or whether they are affected by their position in the family; that of the oldest or the youngest child.

Is Alice lacking in confidence because she is naturally more cautious, or is it because she has to do everything first? She has to pave the way and be the first to attend pre-school primary school and even swimming lessons! As the eldest of 3 sisters, I can completely relate to this. I was always nervous especially when it came to starting school.

Could Eva be overly confident because she’s already familiar with the surroundings of pre-school and then school which makes it easier for when it’s her turn? Could her complete lack of fear be down to her constantly wanting to keep up with her older sister or is determination going to be a big part of her personality?



I find it really interesting and yet I know there’s not a lot you can do about it, someone has to be born first!  But as a mum, I have been watching and noticing these differences and try not to worry.

Try not to worry that Alice’s lack in confidence will somehow hold her back.

Try not to worry that Eva is pushing herself to grow up at a faster rate than Alice did. Despite what she thinks, I’d like her to enjoy being a toddler for a bit longer yet!


I guess as parents all we can do is take note of these differences and nurture and support them as best we can.

Do you notice big differences with your children? Do you think it’s down to personality or position in the family?  I’d love to know what you think!



Cuddle Fairy

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0 thoughts on “Personality or Position?

  1. Hi Cheryl, before we found out that our son has Aspergers we noticed a difference, but that’s probably down to him being on the autistic spectrum. However our daughter who was born second, does push herself more and had noticeably more drive and quiet determination as a little one. Never one to be held back by age or size.

    It is an interesting topic, I know that me and my sister are very similar, but she’s the social butterfly and I’m not, which is probably more down to nature and personality than to who was born first.


  2. It’s a really interesting topic. I know you three girls were quite different growing up. You being the eldest were definitely (like Alice) more nervous and hesitant in new situations, but also (strangely) by far the chattiest and most outgoing in more familiar settings! Your middle sister was always the most placid and someone once told me middle children are often the ‘peacemakers’ between the other two – but again it may just have been her personality. But she was also (like Eva) desperate to grow up fast and do whatever you could do. Little sister was (sorry, P.!) the most difficult in terms of temper tantrums etc, at home, although outside the home she was very shy. But you all grew up to be lovely, intelligent, sensible and amazing daughters so perhaps none of those early traits meant anything much after all! x

    1. It’s fascinating isn’t it. I do often hear that the youngest is always determined and pushing ahead. Ahh thanks mum, hope for everyone: oldest and youngest yet then! Xx

  3. Very interesting topic. I am one of 4 and we are all different. My eldest sister is the most confident and determined and my younger brother being the quietest. I am second youngest and I seem to be a mixture of all my other siblings (minus by brothers laziness thank god!). I think everyone has their own personality and their position I’m the family has little to do with it. Try not to worry about your girls (impossible I know!) I’m sure they will grow into happy young ladies xx#coolmumclub

  4. I think this is such an interesting thing to mull over. I only have one so wouldn’t be able to comment but it does make me wonder how different another one would be, if at all. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

  5. I think it’s probably a bit of both. If someone is naturally outgoing, then being familiar with the environment might give them that extra edge, but I think if they were naturally more cautious, they would still respond that way
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂

  6. I can definitely relate your comments about Alice being more cautious and tactile. Noah is definitely the same, very cautious and much more likely to give me cuddles and affection than his younger sister who I have to bribe for a kiss!! She is far more determined and is quietly very confident and self assured. (Although I have to remember not to take this for granted as I’m sure it’ll change as they get older!) Great post. x

    1. Thanks, there definitely seems to be a common theme with certain personality traits of the oldest vs the youngest, but as you say, could all change in the future! X

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