Personality or Position?

It occurred to me the other day just how very different my two girls are. As you can see, they’re physically different with the eldest having thick blonde hair and blue eyes and the youngest inheriting my fine brown hair and dark eyes. But more than that, it’s interesting to see how different their personalities and their behaviour can be too.

Position or Personality


Alice, my eldest, lacks confidence. She is cautious, especially in new situations and will only really come out of her shell when she starts to feel comfortable in her surroundings. She used to cry when I dropped her off at pre-school and would cling to my leg. She had a terrible time settling into school last year. She’s tactile, emotional and likes lots of cuddles.

In contrast, Eva is extremely confident, talking happily non-stop to people she’s only just met and has no problem going into pre-school. She is completely fearless, throwing herself into the swimming pool and always climbing far higher than I’d like. She is constantly on the go not stopping from the moment she wakes (between 5.30 – 6am) to 7pm when I have to (usually by force) make her get into her bed.

Personality or Position?

I’m not comparing my kids, just noticing their differences. It has made me wonder whether they have inherently different personalities or whether they are affected by their position in the family; that of the oldest or the youngest child.

Is Alice lacking in confidence because she is naturally more cautious, or is it because she has to do everything first? She has to pave the way and be the first to attend pre-school primary school and even swimming lessons! As the eldest of 3 sisters, I can completely relate to this. I was always nervous especially when it came to starting school.

Could Eva be overly confident because she’s already familiar with the surroundings of pre-school and then school which makes it easier for when it’s her turn? Could her complete lack of fear be down to her constantly wanting to keep up with her older sister or is determination going to be a big part of her personality?



I find it really interesting and yet I know there’s not a lot you can do about it, someone has to be born first!  But as a mum, I have been watching and noticing these differences and try not to worry.

Try not to worry that Alice’s lack in confidence will somehow hold her back.

Try not to worry that Eva is pushing herself to grow up at a faster rate than Alice did. Despite what she thinks, I’d like her to enjoy being a toddler for a bit longer yet!


I guess as parents all we can do is take note of these differences and nurture and support them as best we can.

Do you notice big differences with your children? Do you think it’s down to personality or position in the family?  I’d love to know what you think!



Cuddle Fairy

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